BS TRANSLATOR ACTIVATED

<anti-agency agency="true" bullshit="false" />

No Bullshit
Just Results

We're the martech rebels who burned their agency playbook. No jargon. No fluff. No 47-slide decks. Just elegant solutions that actually f*cking work.

No Retainers
No Buzzwords
No BS Meetings
100% Results
// Our Manifesto
01

We Build, Not Talk

While agencies are making decks, we're shipping code. Your martech stack should work as hard as you do, not sit in a PowerPoint.

02

Transparency Is Non-Negotiable

No black boxes. No "proprietary methods." You own everything we build, and we teach you how it works. Knowledge transfer included.

03

Speed Beats Perfection

Your competition moved while you were in meeting #7. We ship MVPs in days, not quarters. Perfect is the enemy of profit.

04

ROI or GTFO

If it doesn't drive revenue, reduce costs, or save time, we don't do it. We're allergic to vanity metrics and "brand awareness" BS.

05

No Assholes Policy

Life's too short for ego trips and power plays. We work with humans who get sh*t done, not titles who schedule meetings.

What They Really Think

Unfiltered feedback from clients who took the red pill

"They called our previous agency's work 'digital dumpster fire' in the first meeting. They weren't wrong."

Sarah Chen
CMO, TechCorp
← She hired us the next day

"Zero patience for corporate theater. They told our CEO to shut up and listen. Best meeting ever."

Marcus Johnson
VP Marketing, FinanceApp
← CEO actually listened

"They refuse to work past 6pm or on weekends. Somehow delivered 3x faster than our 'always-on' agency."

Lisa Park
Director, StartupXYZ
← Work smarter, not harder

Wall of Shame

Anonymous martech disasters we've rescued (click to reveal the carnage)

// Enterprise SaaS Company

The Million Dollar Email Disaster

BEFORE

27 different tools. 14% open rate. $83k/month in software. 3 full-time email "specialists" producing one campaign per week.

AFTER

3 integrated tools. 47% open rate. $12k/month total cost. 1 part-time coordinator managing 5 automated campaigns that actually convert.

Click to reveal the truth →
// B2B Software Startup

The Attribution Nightmare

BEFORE

"We think marketing works but can't prove it." 6 analytics tools, 0 accurate reports. CFO wanted to cut marketing budget by 70%.

AFTER

Single source of truth. Marketing proved 312% ROI. CFO doubled the budget. Turns out good data beats good guesses.

Click to reveal the truth →
// E-commerce Brand

The Personalization Pretender

BEFORE

"AI-powered personalization platform" = {FirstName} tags. $40k implementation. 6 months of consulting. 0.3% conversion lift.

AFTER

Real behavioral triggers. Smart product recommendations. 2-week implementation. 24% conversion increase. No AI buzzwords needed.

Click to reveal the truth →
// Fortune 500 Retail

The Dashboard Delusion

BEFORE

47 dashboards. 2,847 metrics tracked. Weekly 3-hour "data review" meetings. Zero actionable insights. Analysis paralysis perfected.

AFTER

1 dashboard. 7 metrics that matter. 15-minute weekly check-ins. Decisions made in minutes, not committees. Revenue up 34%.

Click to reveal the truth →

Click for the Brutal Truth

Real case studies. Real numbers. Real talk.

// FINTECH STARTUP

From Spray & Pray to Sniper Mode

Cost Per Acquisition -73%
Conversion Rate +218%
Time to Implement 3 weeks

The Ugly Truth:

They were burning $50k/month on Facebook ads targeting "everyone with a pulse and a credit card." Their agency kept saying "trust the algorithm."

We killed 90% of their campaigns, built proper tracking, and focused on 3 specific personas. Turns out specificity beats spray-and-pray every time.

Best part? Their previous agency called us to ask how we did it. We told them to figure it out themselves.

Click to see what really happened →
// B2B SAAS PLATFORM

The Lead Scoring Liberation

Sales Qualified Leads +426%
Sales Team Efficiency +67%
Churn Rate -41%

The Ugly Truth:

Their "advanced lead scoring model" was an Excel sheet with IF statements. Sales was calling everyone. Marketing blamed sales. Sales blamed marketing. Classic.

We built actual predictive scoring based on real customer data (revolutionary, we know). Now sales only talks to people who might actually buy.

Plot twist: Their CMO tried to take credit for the system in a board meeting. We sent the receipts. They have a new CMO now.

Click to see what really happened →

What We Actually Do

No fluffy services. Just the stuff that moves the needle.

🏗️

Stack Architecture

Stop playing martech Jenga. We design stacks that scale, integrate seamlessly, and actually make sense to humans.

Automation That Works

Real automation, not just scheduled emails. We build systems that think, adapt, and don't break when you sneeze.

📊

Data That Matters

Dashboards that answer real questions. Analytics that drive decisions. No vanity metrics or PowerPoint padding.

🔄

Integration Magic

Make your tools talk to each other without couples therapy. No more CSV exports or manual data entry nightmares.

🚀

Launch & Scale

From MVP to IPO-ready. We build martech that grows with you, not systems you'll curse at in 6 months.

🎯

Optimization Obsession

1% better every day. We test, learn, and optimize until your metrics make you smile (or at least stop crying).

Numbers Don't Lie

Real results from real clients who took the leap.

327%
Average ROI
14
Days to Launch
$4.7M
Revenue Generated
0
Bullshit Delivered

Ready to Cut the Crap?

Let's have a real conversation about your martech challenges. No sales pitch. No discovery calls. Just two humans talking shop. Warning: We might hurt your feelings about your current setup.

hello@chilenko.com